Monday 26 December 2011

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE (MUST TRY)

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE (MUST TRY)
Ingredients:
* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottle wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Smash 2 eggs and add the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the f...ging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets struck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, shift two cups of salt. Or somethering. Check the wine again. Now shift the lemon juice and stain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, frow the bowl frough the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
Go to Tesco and buy cake.

Bingle Jells!

That's Why
Satango Rocks !!
 

Thursday 15 December 2011

Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew

Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew

1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.

3) Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can
find the perfect present!

5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

6) Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7) Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.

8) Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every
other cat.

9) Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

11) Shopping is not sport.

12) Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13) You have enough clothes.

14) You have too many shoes.

15) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

16) Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad's
way past idiot.

17) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18) No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on
a calendar.

19) Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range.
We're bound to miss sometimes.

20) Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23) Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24) Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25) Check your oil.

26) Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27) Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.

30) If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

31) If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry, we
meant the other one.

32) Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?

33) Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

34) You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it
done-but not both.

35) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

36) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37) Women wearing Wondercras and low-cut slouses lose their right to
complain about having their soobs stared at.

38) Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39) Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes
you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading
the magazines.

40) The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
    we were going out.

Just Chill
Atul Sikrai
Chief Humor Officer
Satango

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Laughter Surprise

It is important to remember to laugh though most of us do not laugh as much as we could throughout our day.  We get busy and bogged down with the intricacies of life and all too often don’t take the time to enjoy the simple things.
Laughing can not only brighten your day but it has been proven that the old expression “laughter is the best medicine” is really true.  Research has shown that laughter can strengthen your immune system, counteract stress, reduce food cravings and increase your threshold for pain.  There is new research indicating that humor therapy can help people heal more quickly.  Thus humor therapy is being conducted to find out more about this possibility.
In addition to positive medial outcomes, laughter can turn a stressful day around; it can put you in a better mood and make you feel better all around.  So, take time out today and do something silly, play a silly game with your child(ren), tell a joke to a coworker, watch a funny movie or TV show and enjoy the laughter and all the health (both physical and mental) perks that go along with it! OR Read “ SATango Silk” Every day.
Keep Laughing
Atul Sikrai
Humor Office
Satango Silk.


Satango Silk(Humor Hub)

SATango Silk:  Humor Hub
Satango : Sikrai Atul’s Tango.
Silk        : See its laughter knocking.

Who is Atul Sikrai : Online Entertainer .

About Atul sikrai: Writer of Funky Jokes, Rhymes and Satire. True stories, news stories (political satire) tricks of sick politics, political bullshit, economic comedy, rhyming celebrity biographies and their crimes, reality shows, murders and sex crimes rhymed.
There's no business like my business. People say I'm funny, but my objective is to get your money. I like to poke fun at anyone.

About Satnago Silk:
 Joke-a-Day.
 Rhyming
 Poke-a-Joke at Celebrity Folks.
Nursery Time Rhymes.
Occupation:
Creative Funky Jokes &
Satirical Rhymes to Blow Your Mind.
Rocking Humor
Employment
Entertainment
Education

Share our Satango Silk details with your friends and family.
We promise to keep you smiling everyday.
More Likes and followers we get more fun you get.

Thanking you

Atul Sikrai
Humor Officer
Satango Silk.